The Other
by cobra-2k
Summary: How far are you willing to go for the love of your life? What if you're sure they're insane? What exactly does that make you? Shion/Keichi/Mion, some Keichi/Takano and Keichi/Rena
1. The Other

Legal Disclaimer: I don't own Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, but it's the sort of thing I'd think of on a rainy Sunday.

Content Disclaimer: This is really quite graphic. It may start out comparatively tame, but it will continue to increase in severity as the story goes on. Also, my Keichi is really not a very nice person. If you get offended by a character who doesn't exactly think highly of women, you may want to pass this story over. The views and opinions of the narrator are neither expressed nor endorsed by the author.

Grammar Disclaimer: There are points in this story with lots of run-on sentences. Dialogue in particular is handled very differently than it usually is in things I write. In this story, if it looks blatantly grammatically incorrect, it is probably intentional.

The Other

My name is Maebara Keichi. Look, I'll be honest, okay? I like Mion. Really like her. You know? Not like as in I just enjoy chatting with her, more like I'd also enjoy seeing her wearing very little clothing. You know how it is.

Which is why I was surprised that day to be seeing her wearing very little clothing, in this café nearby where I live. Why I had walked into Angel Mart, I'm sure you can understand. Sometimes, a person just needs a milkshake. Sometimes they also would like it brought to them by a pretty and scantily-clad woman. I was in that kind of mood.

You know those moods where you need to consume everything you can get? Only sometimes it's a very specific kind of craving, and you'll do anything to sate it. Yeah, you know how it is. I can tell. That was my mood, and my mind was screaming at me in its language without words that I needed to see a cute girl and soon, and I should also get something cold and thick to drink while I was at it. You know.

So I walk into this place, and of all people, she's the one that brings me the drink. When she saw me, she kind of stammered and blushed just a little, so I knew for sure it was her, not that anyone else could ever look remotely like her.

She said "Here's your order, sir" and I said "Hey, Mion, love the outfit" and she said she didn't know what I was talking about and I said "Oh, come on now! I really like it. But I'm surprised that you would work in a place like this" and then she said "I'm not Mion" and of course I laughed. I mean, really. That hair? Those eyes? Those…you know? "No one else looks like that" I said and she said "I'm Sonozaki Shion, Mion's twin sister" and I laughed and said "Okay, Shion, well since I'm a customer here I get respectful treatment right?" and she stuttered when she said "Of course" and I said "Well, when I win and get to decide on the punishment game next time we'll see just how respectful you can be" and snickered and she said "But Mion plays the games, not me" and I said "Oh, that's right, I'm sorry" and she asked me my name and so I said "Why, it's Maebara Keichi. Didn't Mion tell you?" and she said "I thought it was you from how she described you but I couldn't be sure, well I have to keep waiting tables" and by the time I replied "There's almost no one else here" she had walked away.

So I got my milkshake and I saw a cute girl in a revealing getup. It was a good day, all told. Did I like Mion before I saw her like that? Oh, yeah. What I saw that day was a different side to Mion, though; underneath the completely confident exterior, there was some glimmer of uncertainty, of- perhaps? - shame. I like that. Not that I'm a dominating jerk or anything, I mean I like knowing people's flaws. It helps me remember they're human.

The next day our afterschool game was hide-and-seek. I love this game. If you think about it, it's quite disturbing. Was this really a harmless game originally? Or were the hiders peasants and did the seekers have weapons? Note that I made sure to mention that it might not have been a "harmless" game at some point, for it was most assuredly a game no matter what. Regardless, in our hide-and-seek, everyone take's turns being It, and the person who finds everyone quickest wins, and obviously the person who takes the longest or gives up loses.

Everyone else did passably well, and then it was my turn. Of course, I knew that I simply had to beat everyone, but most especially Mion. I didn't want to embarrass her, per se, but I wanted to see the vulnerable Mion again. If the others knew about "Shion," they'd never mentioned it. I wasn't going to be mean and reveal Mion's problem to them, but I knew what the punishment for Mion would be if I won.

First I set out to find Satoko. It wasn't all that difficult, really. I heard a noise from inside the classroom, and when I glanced inside I saw what might be a dash of blond hair underneath one of the desks. Naturally, I raced outside and found Satoko peeking into the classroom from one of the windows. She loves setting traps for people, so I knew that wherever it was obvious that she was, she wasn't, but she would definitely be nearby.

Rika was even easier. When I glanced up onto the roof of the school, I saw her there, smiling at me. She said "Ni pah!" and congratulated me. She's strange, no doubt, but helpful. I still have no idea how she managed to get up there.

The two more difficult players were Rena and Mion, naturally. Rena was tough to find. She had hidden herself in a shack behind the school, and I only found her as quickly as I did because she sneezed. When I entered the shack, I didn't see her right away. It was dim inside, and the dust almost made me sneeze too.

I found her hiding there. I won't go into detail, because Rena doesn't interest me. Not that I don't like her, nothing of the sort. But she isn't alluring, really. Perhaps if she had some sort of more interesting aspects, then she'd be the apple of my eye. But since that's not the case, I won't bore you with frivolous details. It's Mion I want, and it's her I'm determined to have.

I didn't think she'd be in the classroom, but I decided to check back there anyway. I stood there in the seemingly empty room, hearing nothing but my breathing and the beating of my heart, like a deep and bloody metronome. I looked around. There was no motion. No sounds apart from my breathing.

I do so adore silence. I really started appreciating it in Tokyo, when I lived there. It's such a very noisy place, that quiet is hard to find, but silence, that lovely silence, now that is a diamond among rarities. In Hinamizawa, the nights are quiet, but not silent. The silence is broken by the whirring of cicadas in summer, those despicable cicadas. I hate them, but then they're only doing what they were made to do. How can any creature aspire to more?

Still, silence in Hinamizawa is attainable, as it was then, I thought. I decided to cease my breathing for a while, and listen to the nothingness surrounding me. It wasn't perfect, thanks to my wretched heart I shall never be free of it except in death those lucky bastards they have the perfect silence it's wasted on them, but it was beautiful, that quiet.

But it wasn't quiet.

No, no, once I stopped breathing, I heard that the breathing continued. A glance around the room revealed the source: a coat closet in the corner. Of course, closets do not breathe, and so I knew that only my lovely Mion must be the breather within. I believe I smiled, but made sure to not breathe as I crept quietly I can move quietly of course because I love the quiet so much I hate breaking it myself over to the closet, listening as the breathing turned to a relieved sigh. Rending the sigh apart, I wrenched open the door and closed it in on myself and Mion too quickly for her to react.

"Keichi, what are you doing?" asked and I said "Looking for you" and she said "Well, you found me. You scared me too" and I said "Have I found you? I can't see you" and she said "What are you talking about Keichi? You know I'm here" and I said "Maybe you are, there's now way to be sure" and she put her hand on my face her smooth skin on mine she's cold from being in the closet I think she might look pale in the darkness maybe she's afraid and says "Now are you sure?" and I put my hand over hers and she tried to draw away as she said "Your hands are freezing!" but I kept mine over hers and I could hear her heart racing just like mine was and perhaps she heard it too because she seemed breathless when she asked "What are you doing? Why are we still in here?" and I could have done more there but she wasn't doing it right she wasn't afraid and she wasn't vulnerable enough but it was showing just a bit and I thought maybe something else needs to happen here and so I put my other hand on her waist it wasn't that conspicuous we were in a cramped space after all and she said "Keichi, what are you doing?" and I said "What do you mean, Mion?" and she said "Are you" and then I let go of her and opened the door and said "I found you, Mion!" and left the closet.

As I came out, I turned and grinned at her and said, "Looks like I won!" She nodded, and the other girls came into the room to congratulate me and Rena was very impressed by well I'd done and how poorly Mion had done. I saw Mion wasn't blushing but was pale. I like that. I wasn't blushing either, I never do. For me, there's just not enough blood to go around. That's why my hands are like ice when…you know.

So everyone said I did very well and Mion congratulated me most of all on finding her the way I did (I explained, you see, how I'd stopped breathing in order to hear her breathing, very clever). Then we all started to go home. Rika and Satoko went one way, and Rena and Mion and I went the other way. As we got our bikes, I made sure my hand brushed against Mion's- ah, the incomparable feel of her flesh! I could get used to it- and delighted in her shiver. Whether one of discomfort, fear, or just a reaction to the cold, it was magnificent. When she shivered, her pupils dilated just a bit and her jaw clenched slightly, just enough so that one wouldn't notice unless one studied her face carefully. I wanted her. So badly.

But alas, Rena was with us on the way home. We talked of this and that on the way. No one seeing us would have found anything different from the day or week before, but then I've wanted Mion for a long time. And now she knows I know a secret. I didn't mention Shion or the Angel Mart at all. But I did ask her to come over to help me with a difficult part of the homework, one I knew Rena had already done. Rena wanted to come too, of course, but I protested, smiling and saying that she had helped me a few days ago, and besides, I needed to work out the specifics of the punishment game with Mion. Rena seemed disappointed, but agreed.

Mion, of course, didn't have to come with me. But she did. Such a foolish thing to do, you say? But I want nothing more than to treasure her. Perhaps she could sense this and that need to be needed that everyone has was awake that day like my need for a milkshake had been the previous day? I don't know, I'm no mind reader. But she came with me.

When we got to my room with some food, she asked to see the problem. I told her of course that I really had just wanted to talk to her alone. She seemed unsettled. So cute! She asked what I had in mind for her punishment. So adorable! I told her she needed to tell Shion to come by. She looked shocked and asked how I knew Shion. So perfect! I love this game!

"I met Shion at the Angel Mart" I said and she said "I didn't know she worked there" and I said "Well, I met her by chance and thought she was you" and she said "Well, we are twins" and I said "I can tell." She said "If Shion works at Angel Mart she must have been wearing something interesting" and I said "Oh, yes, very interesting" and she said "Yeah, well, it's her choice and all, but she should be careful" and I replied "Never know who might be watching" and before she said anything I said "She seemed to know who I was" and she blushed just a bit why isn't she pale I'd prefer that and said "Well, I've told her about you" and I asked "What did you say about me?" and she said "Just that you're a good friend, and I'm happy you moved here" and I moved closer to her and locked eyes with her and said "Is that all" and she said "I think so" but she stammered over the "th" in "think" and I knew she was lying even though I knew already and said "I'd like to get to know you and Shion better" and she said "We'd like to know you better too" and I could hear her heart beating faster and faster and faster and our eyes didn't move except to follow the other's trembling and I crept even closer so I could have licked her lips if I'd wanted to just then and I did I did want to so horribly but I wanted Shion right now not Mion and I asked "Maybe you could let Shion come over now and we can get better acquainted?" and she looked sad why is she sad what's wrong I want her you know and she said "I can get her to come over if you don't tell anyone" and I agreed and she closed her eyes and I knew I'd get to see Shion then but then Mion opened her eyes and said "Just so you know" and she leaned forward and kissed me.

I was unaware at the time how my body reacted. Maybe my heart started beating faster still, maybe I started sweating, maybe my tongue ran over her lips like I'd wanted it to before but all I was focused on was how soft her lips were against mine and how her eyes were open and staring into mine on the verge of tears but why tears clearly because she wanted me as much as I wanted her if that's even possible but then it was over and she said "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me" and after some similar excuses and my assurances that I wouldn't tell anyone she left.

Tell me, what do you think? Well, I'm no psychologist, but I know enough about disassociative identity disorder to identify it. Of course, the question of why there was a need for Shion wasn't known to me then. Separate personalities generally form as a result of very long traumatizing situations. But wait. Shion seemed more vulnerable. Was Mion the other, or the original? Were they both others, maybe? Oh, it didn't matter! I had my love's attention, and that was what mattered. My beautiful…Sonozaki, pink soft lips and strong nails and undoubtedly wondrous breasts and her beating heart they were the most beautiful things on the planet and I knew that what mattered was keeping that beauty to myself and owning every inch of it as I coveted it.

Oh, I remember now. When she kissed me, I mean. I clenched my fist so hard my nails dug into my palm. I didn't notice until an hour later, when I started feeling a bit dizzy and looked down and saw the trail of blood leaking from my hands. So ironic. Her presence made me unable to do what I needed to do after she was gone. Is that what she thought? I'll show her.

I did it through the pain. After a while the bandages I'd applied came a bit loose and I got blood on me. It was even more satisfying than ever before.

I love her so much.


	2. The Offer

Wake up.

A lovely summer day. A cool breeze. A pleasant sky. The promise of school begetting the promise of Mion. The possibility of Shion.

And those others, they're fun. But they don't compare with my jewel.

I dress. I eat. I converse inanely with my parents. They need to leave for a week on some business. Apathy. It hardly matters. They say I should invite some friends over. The end of apathy. A perfect excuse to bring Shion over. Perhaps she'd even care to stay the night? One never knows.

I leave for school. See Rena. Talk. Apathy. But then there she is.

Models? Unwashed rabble to her body.

Angels? Pox-riddled whores to her radiance.

Hyperbole? Perhaps. But there is no better pair of glasses than true love. You know how it is.

I tried to remain calm as I approached her. I resisted the urge to press my lips to hers once again and never remove them, even if it meant our deaths. But of course, that wasn't feasible, so I settled on a greeting.

"Morning, Keichi!" she said and wished Rena a good morning too. Rena asked about the punishment game and if we'd decided on something. "Yeah, we worked it out, right Keichi?" she replied, and for a moment her eyes pleaded with me. There was no need, I'm a man of my word. "Of course," I said. "It took a while, but we reached a deal." Rena asked what it was, after I'd made such a big deal of it. I was going to answer, but Mion beat me to it. "Oh, I have to clean his house for a week. Such a drag!" and Rena seemed content with that answer.

What exactly did I do a few days ago? How did I behave around Mion? Was it different now? It must be, how could it not be? But no one seemed to take issue with it. Hours passed.

It was lunchtime, and we were all eating together. Rika asked Mion what we should play today. Rena said that it would have to be something fast so Mion could get over to my house to clean. "Hey, it's not like I'm his servant or anything!" she said, flustered and – just maybe – aroused by the notion. A servant! No chance. Shion might be my servant, but not Mion…although I mustn't jump to conclusions. "A deal is a deal Mion," I said "And you have to do what we agreed to." Rena asked what exactly she'd agreed to. "We just worked out that I have to clean his room, which he hasn't done in ages" Mion said, to which Rena replied

"You're lying."

In that eerily calm way of hers and we all stared at her even though the last thing any of us wanted to see just then was her eyes and I quickly said "You're right, Rena, but Mion doesn't want to be embarrassed" and Rena said "What could be so embarrassing that you'd make her do, Keichi?" and I wanted to kill her the little bitch how dare she question me? and what's more how dare she put Mion on the spot like that even though she is perfectly accurate somehow I hate her so much sometimes and Rika said that I'm probably making Mion go through all my old baby toys and I made her swear not to tell. Since it was a suggestion and not a lie, Rena calmed down and said that was probably it.

The rest of the school day passed without incident.

Mion stopped at her house on our way home. She said that she was going to take a bath before she came over, but I knew that she was going to try and "call" Shion. I wonder how that's done? Does she really need to pick up a phone and pretend to dial? I don't know. But I will. Oh, I most certainly will when I have her (them?) all to myself.

I went home. Sitting at my front door was a bento box. There was a note from Mion there congratulating me once again on how well I'd done in hand-and-seek, and that she'd made the food herself. I took it inside and ate it, it didn't take more than a few minutes, and thought I should go to Mion personally and thank her. It was perhaps four in the afternoon at this point, so there wouldn't be any problem.

Her house is so small and ugly. Very unbecoming for the heir to one of the largest families in Hinamizawa. Still, what mattered was what the beauty inside the house, not the lack of it on the outside. Mion let me in happily and urged me to stay a while.

"Thanks for the lunch, Mion, it was great" I said and to my surprise she looked confused and said "What lunch do you mean?" and I said "You left a bento on my doorstep, with a note from you" and she said "No, I didn't" and I said "It must have been from you, it even mentioned playing hide-and-seek" and she looked thoughtful but then said "I guess Shion must have done it and used my name" and I replied "But how would Shion know about the games we play?" and Mion said "I tell her everything that goes on" and I asked "Everything?" and got a bit closer to her and I could hear her heartbeat pick up so wonderful and she slowly said "Almost everything" and I said "So when can I expect Shion to stop by?" and I could see she looked disappointed is she completely unaware of Shion's presence? and she said "I was just getting ready to call her before you showed up, I don't think she's home right now" and I got closer to her so there was nowhere for her to look but into my eyes and said "That's a pity" and she said "I really like you, Keichi" and I said "I know" and she said "I think Shion might too" and I said "I know" and she said "But she doesn't know you as well as I do" and I said "That's true" and she said nothing but moved forward to try and kiss me but I turned away, just subtly enough so that we could both pretend no one had tried to kiss anyone and I said "Well, I should get home. Tell Shion thanks for the lunch for me when you get in touch with her" and she said "Okay, Keichi, see you later" and I left.

Why did I leave? Mion is so beautiful and I love her so much. But. But.

But she didn't have that special quality about her this time. She wasn't vulnerable enough. She's so flawless that unless she's uncertain or afraid, she can't be real. She has to be a mirage or a dream. And kissing a dream is pointless. Better to kiss the real woman, and in this case, Shion was the woman on my mind. So real, I could taste her, all of her, just judging by how Mion's lips had tasted. Taste her soft earlobes, her lovely pink nipples, I could feel the texture of every inch of skin on my tongue.

And when I got home, the phone rang. It was her.

"Hi, Keichi, you left so quickly I forgot to ask you something" she said and I said "Sure, what is it?" and she said "Well, to tell the truth, I don't have any plans for tonight, so I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner together. I could bring some stuff for us to cook at your place" and my heart leapt into my throat even if I had eaten not too long ago that was hardly the point so I said "That sounds great!" and she said with a smile in her voice "Awesome! Hey, should we invite Rena?" I must admit I was confused. A little while ago, didn't she want me all to herself? Still, I knew that excluding Rena too much would only encourage her to stick her tongue where it doesn't belong, so I agreed with no small amount of trepidation. "Okay," I said and she said "I'll call her in a bit and tell her to bring something. Later, Keichi!" she said and I said "Later, Mion" but then but then she said "Hope you liked the lunch!" and I couldn't react and my hands clenched again maybe not hard to enough to bleed but I could tell my hands were freezing and I said "Who is this?" but she had already hung up.

She responded as "Mion" and wasn't shy like Shion, but she knew about the bento. Was it Mion on the phone, had she played coy earlier? Was it Shion on the phone, pretending to be Mion was it Shion earlier pretending to be Mion was it who was it? Who was I just talking to?

Have to remain calm. Yes, calm, yes. Perhaps Shion is the original, and Mion the other personality created to make up for Shion's spinelessness? Maybe Mion is the face presented to others, while Shion is who she is when she's alone. Maybe it was Shion that left the lunch, using Mion as a way to hide her identity without Mion actually being aware of it. And Shion was just on the phone with me. But why would Shion invite herself (and Rena) over if Mion handles other people?

Ultimately, I cannot reach a conclusion at this point. And really, does it matter? The woman I love is coming over to my house for dinner. Does it really matter which facet of her is catching the light at any given point in time? What matters is not the facets, but the jewel herself. Oh, vibrant and lovely Mion, oh, seductive and inviting Shion, there is no height of emotion you cannot evoke in my soul. My love is like a story, truly a tale told by an idiot, but the sound will be the sound of our amorous confessions and the fury will be the fury found in our lovemaking. The significance will be nothing to all but us three, who will revel in each other's hearts for evermore.

Which is the other? That hardly matters to me, as long as I possess the love of both. You know how it is.

* * *


	3. The Thief

Honestly, with this short notice, I've so little time to prepare. Mion said she'd bring food, but I have to prepare something in addition to what she and Rena bring.

Rena, dammit. What do I do about her? I can't very well make any real advances towards Mion or Shion with Rena around. Why would they invite her? Don't they want to be alone with me?

Or perhaps the whole point is to not be alone with me? Oh, sweet Shion, do I trouble you with my directness? Don't worry, sweetheart, no one loves you like I do. And Mion, you've nothing to worry about. There's nothing I wouldn't do for either of you.

Rena, though. You're getting to be a real pain in the ass. I'll need to do something about you.

I'm hungry. What was I doing? Before she invited me to come with her. What was I doing? My fingers are wet and I'm sweating. I think I was touching myself and thinking of Keichi. It's what I tend to do in the evening, when I can't spend time with him.

Why doesn't he have time for me anymore? I thought it meant something when he kissed me. Today he lied to me. I didn't say anything about it, but I could tell he knew I knew. Why does he want to hurt me he knows I can't stand the lying so why did he do it? Why did he lie I asked him if we could do it again and he said we would and one day we'd spend the whole day just the two of us but he's barely talked to me the past couple of days did I make him mad what could I have done why did he lie why did he lie why did he lie why did he lie

This will show her who belongs to who.

I started walking towards his house, keeping an eye out for her while I walked. There was a taste of chocolate in my mouth his mouth tasted sweet like chocolate that time too doesn't he like me? Didn't he say so when logic and proportion had fallen didn't he say he liked me?

I thought of pieces of a burnt match embedded in a candle. It was arousing.

When logic and proportion have fallen I rang the doorbell and he came to the door and said "Good evening Rena" and I could see one eye of disappointment and one eye of happiness was one eye fake and I said "Good evening Keichi" and he let me in and Mion wasn't there yet he said and I said okay can I sit down and he said Of course I put out some chips for us before dinner and I said you'll Spoil your Appetite and he said you're not my mother no I'm not mothers can't want to Fuck their sons and I do I do so Much and I sat down in his living room

I greeted her with all the happiness I could muster. I need to do something about her so she doesn't interfere with Mion and Shion and me. Why does she insist on getting in my way? It's not like I've ever given her any show of affection. Still, she's my friend. I guess.

"How are you Rena?" I asked and she said she was great and asked how I was. This isn't going anywhere fast. "Sorry we haven't hung out afterschool lately I've been kind of busy with studying" I said and she nodded a bit sadly and said she was too and for a second just a second she was lying but then she wasn't. She took a chip and bit into it. I did the same. Then we took another. You can't eat just one, you know.

"Did you bring something?" I asked and she said she did and took an assortment of sashimi out of the bag she had with her and said she made it for her dinner but she knew there was too much for just her and so she'd been hoping someone would invite her to dinner and I tried to keep a straight face and said "That's logical"

when logic and proportion have fallen sloppy, dead

I didn't lie why is He acting like I did

It's true I made it all when Mion invited me it's true True true not a lie believe me believe me Or else I'll get mad Keichi

and I could see she laughed but she was hurt and I continued "Wouldn't it have been easier to invite someone else over to eat with you"

don't make me mad Keichi i really like you Keichi why are you Doing this

and she was hurt more and I said "You're pretty silly sometimes Rena"

don't do this Keichi i could kill you Keichi i swear ill kill you to kill the logic to kill proportion

and then the doorbell rang again.

like a thief in the night

I left Rena on the couch and moved to let Mion and Shion in. When I answered the door, I saw it was Mion, the usual Mion from school. She had a couple of frozen lobster tails with her. To top off all her other excellent qualities, she knows good food.

"Hiya, Keichi!" she said when she saw me. "Rena already here?"

"Yeah," I said. "She brought food too. Though not lobster." I think Rena heard me. Maybe I should've said it louder.

kill

"So, how are you, Rena? You seemed kind of stressed earlier today."

Nice way of saying she nearly flipped out again.

what do you mean you Whore I don't know What you mean mion

"Guess it was just me. Did you like the lunch I made you, Keichi?"

"Yeah, I loved it, Mion" I winked when I said her name "it was great"

why the wink did he think i cant see it what are you doing Keichi why are you entertaining this Whore let me entertain you Keichi anything you want ill do for you logic and Proportion died you killed them i remember so whatever you want you can have ignore that Whore Keichi ill be your Whore if you want What did you make him mion

"Oh" she said "I made him some tempura but he made me do it as part of the punishment game." Clever Sonozaki! But why hide it? Who cares what Rena thinks of us? Maybe I should just start kissing her and ignore Rena totally. If that doesn't make someone leave, what would?

No, no, no need to antagonize her needlessly. She's still a friend, right? She just needs to be out of the way. But if I can't get rid of her right now, I'll just have to work around her. After all, she's still dangerous.

back before that whore came around we spent that day that day after school down at the place with treasure and we were looking for some treasure and when i asked him Keichi did you find any treasure he said i dont know yet ill keep looking and i said it has to be cute and he said in that case ive found something and i said what is it Keichi and he said its

Mion sat down and started dishing out food for everyone. Rena had a faraway look in her eyes, but honestly, that's nothing new. I sat down too and we all started talking. Talking about this and that really. And then for whatever reason Mion asked "So, what was your first kiss like, Keichi?"

and he said actually its not cute and i said its no good and he said its beautiful and i said really yes really i want to see it you cant why not

What is she thinking? Do they too wish to be alone with me and rid of Rena? This candidness is bread and butter for Mion, I know, but I am having difficulty deciphering the nature of this move. It's too bold I don't like it I'm the one in control here okay calm down, Keichi. Honestly, you're getting far too worked up over nothing. Just answer.

"My first kiss? Oh, it was okay."

A pause.

"That's it?" she asked, frowning. Oh, did you expect me to blush and stammer? Your memory fails you, Mion. It's Shion who blushes and stammers and struggles for words. "What about you, Rena?"

im getting to that you whore where was oh right why not because its you and He kissed me and that was death that was when logic and proportion had fallen sloppy dead and I froze and let him do it because I wanted him to I always had wanted him to and id always wanted him to have Him with me all the time and for Him to be inside me and know every part of me by heart that was what I wanted and then He kissed Me and I kissed Him and all I could think of was doing more with Him for Him to Him my first kiss was incredible mion nothing like youll ever have because Keichi loves me he kissed Me not you hed never love a whore like you right Keichi

"I didn't know you'd been kissed, Rena" I said. It was true too, I hadn't known. "Who was it? Anyone we'd know?"

what the fuck does that mean what is it supposed to mean why are doing this i dont understand what youre trying to prove are you trying to tell that whore something trying to tell me something giving an excuse to kiss me again why would you lie i hate it when You lie to me Keichi and what did you mean your first kiss was okay it wasnt just okay or was it with another girl i dont care about those girls Keichi i know youve probably had so many begging to be your slave like i am but theyre all gone now and if theyre not ill fix that problem yes i will theyll die did you know whore that everything can die ive tested it and it works trust me ill show you if you want ill cut your whore throat and rip your leering eyes out with my teeth if i have to just to show you what i mean it wont be the first time

That bitch "What do you mean Rena" I said and Mion just sort of stared at her what is she talking about with an open mouth "I never kissed you are you sure it wasn't a dream"

"You're such a fucking liar Keichi" she said and her eyes were different like they can get and they bored right through me what's going on here "You kissed me when we were looking for treasure one day" "You're the liar if you think that's true" I said and I saw Mion look at me in fear but why? maybe my eyes are like Rena's now "I never did that I never kissed you you must have dreamed it."

And we looked at each other and for the first time since she walked in my eyes were completely off Mion looking only at Rena and the expression on her face was a mix of sardonic glee passionate love burning fury suicidal depression. Maybe mine was similar. Then Shion got between us "Please stop, both of you! Can't we work this out another time and just be happy we're all here now? Please, Keichi?" And her face as she turned to me was so perfect it was the face that said I'll do anything you want just please please please listen to me just this once I'll do anything I promise and then when I say Anything? she'll affirm Anything. But that part wasn't spoken, it was just what I read. So I managed to calm down, and as I did so, Rena did too. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding. Well, her misunderstanding, I wouldn't just up and forget if I'd kissed a close friend. Anyway, I won! My sweet Shion is here with me now, and I don't think I'll ever want to let her go.

She keeps close to me all the evening, clearly wanting to cling to my arm and hide her face in my chest of course I wouldn't mind. She looks to me before she says anything, like she's asking permission. I just nod very very subtly, even Rena doesn't seem to notice. At one point, when we're all watching the television and the room is rather dimly lit, while Rena is focused on the screen I tangle my hand and Shion's together and even in the darkness I can see her veins become more pronounced as her heart quickens. When she looks at me she mouths the word "wait" and I can see in her eyes the fear that beautiful fear the kind that connects all humanity and the kind that binds her to me. You can't live without me, my love. And I couldn't live without you, but the former is more important to me. No matter what ghosts say and what they warn me, I'll have you all to myself, no matter what I have to do. If you're beautiful when you're afraid, I'll frighten you. If you're cute when you're in pain, I'll hurt you. If you're perfect when you appreciate the perfect silence then I'll show you that perfect silence stillness stasis.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. I love you so much.

* * *

My lovely girlfriend beta-read the first half or so of this chapter. She is in no way an inspiration for any of the characters depicted here, which in my opinion is a very good thing. Due to formatting problems, this chapter is even more confusing here than it is in Microsoft Word. I would apologize, but it achieves the same effect. There seems to be some confusion with some remarks I made earlier: I've taken a number of liberties with characters in this story, and here Mion and Shion might not necessarily be twins. Maybe they are just separate personalities. Maybe both are true.

* * *


	4. The Game

We're alone now, she and I. My darling Shion.

Patience, Keichi, patience. Am I under any manner of time constraint? No, of course not. I have so much time. So much time to make her mine and enjoy her. Why rush things? I dislike acting prematurely. Even back in my days in Tokyo, when I would hunt…ah hah hah…such fun.

Hunting requires patience, you know. Patience, silence, and instinct. You don't have to be "trained" to move and act quietly, you know. You already know how. Deep down. Look deeper than the everyday, and you'll find it: the knowledge of how to move, how to hunt, how to kill. That's what I found when I hunted them.

Hm, what? Ah, yes, I'm getting to that.

This is not unlike that kind of hunting. The prey is here with me. The stalkchasekill takes place in the mind now. Well, mostly in the mind. Ah hah hah hah…mostly. And so I should take my time and enjoy the hunt. It will make the end all the more glorious.

"Keichi?" she says, drawing me out of reverie with that innocent questioning tone. Her eyes shimmer in the lamplight with nervousness and anticipation I really hope I don't look too vapid right now "What do you want to do? It's getting late."

"Well," I say and slide a bit closer to her. It is a movement akin to slithering, now that I think on it. Serpentine imagery…how appropriately phallic. I put my hand over hers and obersve the tugging at the corners of her lips. "Why not play a game?"

A certain ineffable thrill seems to show itself in her eyes. If I had to guess, I would say that Shion has fantasized about being on the receiving end of a punishment game for a long time.

Ah, I must confess something. I love playing games with my friends dearly. I love games in general. But sometimes I feel that they simply do not play the way I do. The girls do not seem to draw upon the same…how shall I put this…this same level of the _visceral_ that I attempt to emulate. The human form with its frailties will not serve many purposes, and indeed for the vicissitudes of a really enjoyable game, certain pre-human aspects must be called upon in order to succeed.

They are just not as _animalistic_ as I can be. Their thought processes are those of normal people, and as such have none of the cunning of a predator.

Of course, I doubt they have experienced the thrill of a hunt the way I have. So it's only to be expected. Where was I?

Her hands clench a little beneath my own, and in her face I see the signs I'd dreamed of: fear and want for the same thing. "What kind of game?"

"I beat Mion the other day. Let's see how good you are at hide and seek."

"But…Keichi, I don't know your house like you do! You'll know where to look!"

"Well, then, I'll make it fair. I'll wear a blindfold."

"A blindfold? Will you be able to find anything like that, Keichi?"

"It'll make things even. And we'll see how good you are."

"And how can I win?"

"You win if I go…twenty minutes without finding you."

"And what does the winner get?"

Smiles. "It's a punishment game. The winner decides."

"Okay."

So much said in a single word! An entire contract of lust! Allow me to extrapolate for your benefit.

"I think I know what you're thinking, and how you plan on doing it. I understand that you've got some kind of failsafe or loophole that'll let you find me even with a blindfold. I realize I'm going to lose. I realize you've played this game before, and I don't mean hide and seek. I understand my role here, and I think it's perfect for me. I understand your role, and you're perfect for it. We already know the conclusion of this game, but let's play it out to add to the gravity of the situation. We already know we're going to end up caressing each other in the darkness and then fucking like we're about to drop dead and I want that just as much as you. I want you so badly it hurts. Now let's get on with this psychodrama so we can get to telling each other how thirsty for each other we are."

…No? Didn't catch that? Someday you'll know how to read a girl like I can. If you're lucky.

"I'll wait for a minute before I come looking for you, okay?"

I take off my shirt and tie it around my eyes. I sit apart from her, cross-legged, and begin to count. I hear her walk out of the room hurriedly around second five.

Sooner than I'd hoped, it was second sixty. "Shion!" I shout to the house "Ready or not, here I come!"

I mentioned looking toward instinct earlier, yes? Here is another instinct I have honed. When someone disturbs an animal's territory, a place the animal has familiarized itself with completely, it can recognize even the slightest disturbances and find the intruder.

You don't believe me? Think I'm making it up? Well, I suppose I can't prove it to you now, so either you believe me or you don't.

I very softly place a finger on the coffee table next to me. It's still. Shion has stopped moving around, wherever she is. I put my hands down in front of me and raised myself, so that I'm on all fours. 

This posture aids me in sensing motion and smells, and it might disconcert Shion into giving herself away.

I crawl into the kitchen and sniff the air. Lobster, naturally, and the swill Rena had brought. There aren't many places to hide in the kitchen, aside from on a countertop. I stand and run a hand over the counters, just in case. Nothing. I get back down and make my way into the stairwell.

I know how many stairs there are. There are twelve. The seventh one has a crack in the middle of it. Also, I happen to know the walls are rather hollow. I place an ear next to the wall on my right. I hold my breath and let the silence come over me.

But there is no silence.

And it's not just my heart beating, I hear Shion breathing through the wall.

How fitting. The same trick that caught Mion. It's only to be expected, really. Shion wants to be caught, and she knows how I caught Mion, so she makes sure to give herself away in some way she knows I'll fall for.

Ah, but there is a catch. All I could hear was breathing echoed in a wall. I know which room she's in, and that she's close to a wall. She's in my parents' bedroom. I crawl inside quietly.

I know every room of my house by heart. I can tell when something has been disturbed. Now, for instance, I can tell that the rug has been pulled up in one spot of the room, something that tends to happen when the closet door is opened and closed. How predictable.

I inch closer to the closet. As I do, I hear an intake of breath. When I am perhaps a foot away, an aroma forces its way into my mind. Sweat. Sweat and something I don't recognize. Perfume I didn't notice before? Seems unlikely. The fabric of her clothes, the thin sweater and pleated skirt, it's become damp with the sweat she's exuding, fear fear of me and my prowess at finding what attempts to hide? It frightens me too, sometimes. Briefly.

"Found you" and open the closet door and lunge forward and she yells as my forehead collides just lightly with her chin and my face with ah yes they are indeed lovely.

"How did you find me?" she asks not trying to move me away from her body. "Can you see through the blindfold?"

"Of course not. You were in my house. I can find anyone here no matter where they hide."

"I guess you won." She says. The finality is like a symphony to me. I did win, didn't I?

I remove the shirt from around my eyes and get up. I help her up too and she brushes her skirt off. "So, your punishment."

"What is it?" she says and tries to keep the fear out of her voice, to no avail.

"Well, I thought about it" and I have "and the punishment game is actually another game. You know Chicken?"

"You mean who will chicken out first? Yeah"

"Well, come with me"

I take her by the hand and lead her to my room. It's clean. In fact, only one item draws attention to itself in misplacement, which is exactly the way I intended it. She sees and as soon as she enters the room and disbelief is written on her face. "You want to"

"Could you stand over by my closet?"

And she goes and turns to face me and looks frightened. "Is that yours?"

I pick up the item and turn it on. A whirring sound as it warms up, or whatever the proper term is. "Family heirloom, you might say. And this is part of the game."

"So"

"Stand just like that."

"I"

"It's a game" and it is and she stands normally. "Smile" and she smiles and I lift the camera and take her picture. "Put your right hand on your hip and look at the window" and she does and the flash goes off as I take another shot "Now put both hands on your hips, part your legs a bit more, and look angry" and she does but if she ever looked at me that way I'd know anger was certainly not the emotion she was feeling

"This is weird Keichi" starting to panic eh? You should be

"It's just a game, you have to play by the rules"

Why isn't she calling chicken and getting out? Obviously because she likes it. You don't need to doctorate in psychology to see that.

"Try and look scared" and this is the shot I really want and it's pretty easy for her to look scared because she is and I can already tell it's a nice picture "Lean against the wall and put your hands behind your head"

"Like this?" she asks and does it perfectly her breasts are made prominent in this shot not being hidden behind her arms

"Great" and take another "Take off your shirt"

"My" and that's quite the blush "Keichi you want me to take off my shirt"

"Yes"

"But that's"

"It's what"

"Wrong?"

Wrong? _Wrong? Wrong._ Where have I heard that word before? Ah…the memory comes unbidden.

_You're sick, you're a sick twisted little monster. No one could ever love you you're hardly human is that really how you think normal people act human beings don't do that you sick fuck oh god what happened to you oh god there are more how did you hide this for so long how long how long_ pain_ how long has this been going on oh god these pictures this is sick don't you understand that sick and wrong_

That's where. "Sick and wrong." A phrase used to describe so many of my actions, I fear that it has lost all significance to me. Wrong. And over something as trifling as removing an article of clothing.

_You're the one who's wrong what's wrong is letting beauty go ignored_ pain _what's wrong is stifling an artist_ pain _what's sick is whatever you don't agree with so I think you're the sick one here it's not as though anyone's been hurt except me thanks to you so you've caused another pain and I haven't who's the sick one now_

People can be so…tenacious about their little "right and wrong" nonsense. They never see it any way but their own. I can accept other people's views so long as I don't have to abide by them, but they…ah, they talk a nice game about acceptance but I've seen them flinch and cringe and wince and gasp and shudder and scream yes scream.

"It's just a game"

"…" A reply? Too soft to hear

"What?"

"Okay"

And she removes her shirt it's a thin white sweater and now I'm faced with her bare arms and ample breasts covered only by a white bra her skin is milky white like sweet cream perhaps she can see the hunger on my face she looks away from me down at the ground and stands against the wall "Is this okay"

In response I take a picture and then a few more "Great" move around a few different angles she turns her face to try and avoid me at all costs "Look at me" she cringes and a bit more in my direction "Look at me Shion" and she looks directly into the camera and her hands aren't shaking anymore she puts one on her stomach and the other on her left breast and looks directly into the camera and says "Is this okay" and I take another picture and say "Lift up your skirt"

She blanches as expected and I can see the emotions darting across her face the sweat collecting not only on her forehead but also dripping down her smooth and supple legs and her hands start to move her hands start to move slowly but surely down to the pleats of her skirt and she grabs for the hems and I say "Okay, I give in"

She freezes and looks to me in some bizarre mix of sorrow and libido "You what?"

"I was only joking around, there's not even any film in here. I kinda wanted to see if you'd freak out." When she doesn't move right way I continue (though I never thought I'd say it) "You should put your shirt back on" and she does.

She leaves a few minutes later, unable to look me in the eye. When she leaves she is still sweating profusely. It is summer, after all.

I got my pictures. There was film in the camera, honestly. I'll get them developed tomorrow. I decided to savor the hunt. But she was going to do it. I know she would have.


	5. The Mother

I hummed a pleasant tune to myself as I walked. A love song, you probably wouldn't know it. You might think that it's not my sort of music, but I'm actually a sucker for orchestral music. Some modern music has lyrics that conform to my tastes a bit more closely, but I can never really get into that loud rock music that's getting popular.

So after Mion and Shion went home last night, I decided I would get a bit of sleep and go to get the pictures developed the next day. I went to bed happy. A bit drunk on my success, I guess you could say. And now, here I am.

The sun is shining brightly today, but there's a pleasant breeze keeping up. The cicadas are loud, as usual, but even they can't damper my mood. Their relentless whirring noise generally threatens to grind away the little composure that I can keep for any length of time, but today, yes, today, I am remarkably complacent. My plans are progressing well, and I have pictures of my love in her underwear. Life is, as they say, good.

My parents called from out of town this morning, before I left for Okinawa. The conversation went something like this.

"Morning, Keichi. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, all right."

"What did you do for dinner last night?"

"Rena and Mion came over with food."

Here there's a pause. I can almost see the nervous glitter in the eyes of the one on the other line. "That was very nice of them."

"Yes. It was."

"They're good friends."

"Yes. They certainly are."

Another pause. "Keichi, why don't you make some male friends?"

"There aren't any other guys my age in town."

"None?"

"None." I think.

"To be honest, Keichi, I'm not sure how I feel about you teens being in the house all by yourselves." The translation of this reads "You shouldn't be around girls, after what you did."

"We didn't drink, if that's what you mean." The translation of this reads "That's too bad. No matter how sick you think I am, you still can't tell me what it means to be healthy."

"You know that's not what I meant. I…I just don't want you to lose such good friends." Translation: "If they can put up with you for more than a few seconds, hang on to them like grim death. You're a repulsive horror who would be locked up and forgotten if it were legal. I'd kill you myself if I could get away with it. Someone will eventually, someone always comes along who can put people like you out of the gene pool for good. The last thing we need right now is for you to mess everything up for us and land us all in the public eye by raping or killing or doing God knows what to some innocent girl. Again."

"I know, mom. Listen, I'm going into town today, so I'll talk to you later." Translation: "Fuck you."

And that was the end of that. You might think that sort of thing would get me down. On the contrary, it steels my resolve. The point I want to prove is that just because someone can be broken doesn't mean the process can't be enjoyable. Besides, Mion was broken in half already some time ago, by someone else. Technically, I just want to stitch the two back together, using myself as the thread that binds them. I'm much more of a healer than they understand. I think maybe they know that, deep down, but can't make themselves accept it.

Isn't it always like that? The freedom and truth that a mindset like mine brings is so agonizingly close, and the only reason they don't reach out and take it is that they fear it. They tell themselves that it can only lead to ruin and give it the frightening name "insanity," all to make themselves feel better about their inability to see and their insistence on remaining blind.

But enough about all that. The day is young, and so, I've been told, am I. The road to Okinawa isn't terribly long, but there's plenty of time for speculation on the way. Having been lost in thought already, I think I'm around halfway there.

What's this? Why, it looks like there's someone else on the road ahead of me. Not Mion, not one of my friends, more of an acquaintance, but one I like.

"Miyo! Wait up!" I shouted. She turned, startled, and for a moment I saw on her face a look I like. Anger. That's what it was. I like seeing someone who's not afraid of being angry. When she sees it's me, though, she smiles in that half-tired, half-condescending way of hers.

"Why, hello, Keichi. Walking into town alone today?"

"Today, yeah. Just have some pictures to get developed." I indicate the camera I have on a strap around my neck, not that I really needed to, but I wanted her to see that the camera I used was the one that Tomitake had given me. Tomitake is generally regarded as Takano's boyfriend, but I can tell that's not the case. Not even he knows it, I think.

He's pretty much her tool.

"Where are your friends, Keichi? They'd usually be with you on your day off, right?"

I smiled and shot back, "I could ask you the same thing. Where's Tomitake?"

Her smile grew wider. "Oh, he's around somewhere, I'm sure. Well, deprived as I am of male company, would you like to walk with me into town, Keichi?"

I walked up beside her and nodded. "I'd be happy to." I offered her my hand, and she took it.

I suppose I should give you a bit of background about my relationship with Takano. I knew as soon as I saw her: this was a kindred spirit. She knew what I meant. She had the eyes that I have, the eyes of someone who occasionally likes to indulge themselves in the way they were meant to. She had the face of a predator.

Sure, she's at least ten years older than me. But she's not like the other adults. She's like me. Or rather, I'm like her. The way she has Tomitake and Irie dancing like puppets is so…_inspiring_. I'm sure she faced what I have to go through, the doubting and the diagnosing, but she managed to make it through unscathed and intact, and here she is, enjoying herself. She's a role model if I've ever seen one.

Oh, and I suppose I should tell you. It was Takano that gave me the idea. About Mion, I mean. Well, indirectly. It went a little like this.

The first time I went home from school early, I wasn't really feeling sick. I just wanted to leave. I was bored. But I figured to make everything seem authentic, I'd check in at the clinic and make coughing noises a bit. I didn't expect to see Takano when I stepped in.

"Oh, Keichi. Good afternoon. Not feeling well?" Her somewhat lazy stare traveled over my body, and I shivered to feel that piercing gaze turned on me. I could tell there would be no point in lying to her. She could sense a kinship in me, I knew. Every time we'd met prior, a wink or chuckle tipped me off: she was just like me. I told her the truth.

"Not really. I just wanted to get out school a bit early." I grinned. "Can I stay here for a bit?"

She smiled back and rested her chin on the back of her hands. "Dr. Irie stepped out for a few hours to pick up some supplies, so I suppose so. Just don't make this a habit, okay, Keichi?"

"Okay, Ms. Takano."

"Oh, please, Keichi, just call me 'Miyo' if we're alone."

I nodded and sat down on one of the chairs in the clinic's waiting room. Takano started filling out some paperwork and asking me about how school was going (I had moved in maybe a month prior to this). "Oh, alright," I replied. "It's definitely different from Tokyo."

"I'm sure." She put aside her papers and toyed coyly with her pen as she looked at me. "So, which girl do you think is the best-looking?"

"Probably Mion," I answered. The question didn't surprise me, and my quick response didn't catch her off-guard, either. We were talking not as child and adult, but almost as a master and apprentice. "I'm partial to big breasts."

She nodded. She understood how it was. "Well, she certainly has that going for her. Still, a bit loud and abrasive, don't you think?"

"Not at all," I said, and met her eyes. "I've found that underneath, most people behave very differently than the way they present themselves."

She smiled. "So very true. But if that's the case, Keichi, how can you trust anyone? If they're all lying, at a fundamental level, how can you be sure they won't try to take advantage of you just like you do to them?"

"I can't," I responded simply. "I can't trust anyone. And since you know how I think, I can trust you even less."

She laughed cheerfully. "Then for the same reason, I can't trust you either, Keichi! Not the slightest bit!"

I laughed too. "Nope!" We both calmed down after a few seconds. "I think we're going to get along very well, Miyo."

She rose and walked over to me. She offered me her hand. I took it, and she helped me to my feet. "I think so too, Keichi. Here, come with me."

I was on my guard. I really was. I was expecting her to turn and lunge at me with a scalpel. I was expecting her to test me, see if I was up to par. I didn't expect her to kiss me.

She could tell I didn't expect it, and when she drew back, I could tell she was amused, but also disappointed. "I told you you couldn't trust me, Keichi. But you still followed me without even asking why."

I realized then, of course, that the kiss _was_ the test, or at least part of it. And I had failed. But dammit, I wanted to pass. "Teach me."

She looked at for closely for a long while. We were in the clinic's hallway. The rest of the building was deserted. After the minute (might have been seconds, it was hard to tell) passed, she pressed herself against me and backed me into a wall. She lowered her mouth to mine and drew her tongue across my lips. I tried to keep pace with my own, but I had never done this before. I'm sure she could tell this, but she refused to slow down. Her hands snaked their way under my shirt and nuzzled against my chest. I tried to will my own hands to do something similar, but inexperience and the complex layout of pockets on her nurse's outfit made that difficult. She stopped manipulating me with her tongue long enough to smirk. "I thought you said you liked Mion's breasts? The way you are now, it doesn't seem like you know what to do with them."

"Well, it's a good thing we had this talk, then," I replied, finally getting a hand under her shirt and onto her left breast. I could tell that Takano was well-endowed, not nearly so much as Mion, but she still had an ample bosom, as they say. She started making a sound not unlike purring and ran her tongue over the skin on my shoulder to my earlobe. Her hands moved upwards until she had lifted my shirt enough for her to trace small circles around my nipples with her sharp, oft-manicured nails.

I could tell then that she could hurt me if she wanted. Those nails were pretty, but they were not delicate. They had been filed subtly, but well. With an ounce more pressure, she could break the skin. If she did so in the right area, it could prove fatal. It was an indescribably feeling. This woman held the power of life and death over me, and for just this moment, there was nothing I could do about that.

"If you want Mion to submit the way you've done for me," she breathed into my ear, "you'll need to get a bit more experience."

"And what do I owe you for lessons?" I asked, my voice muffled in a tangle of her hair.

"They're free. I don't want kids, so I'll settle for a…disciple. Now come with me."

For the second time that day, and most certainly not the last, I followed Takano into an empty room, her leading me by the hand. She shoved me towards Irie's desk while she removed her top and bra. "I'm on the pill, but you'll want to use a condom normally. Unless you plan on killing them." She spoke matter-of-factly, the way a good teacher always does. I got the impression, reinforced since that day, that she knew what it was like to wrap her hands around someone's throat and watch their life drain away. As I thought this, though, I took off my shirt like she had.

"I don't think I'll do that. Where can I get condoms?"

"They're free here. Just ask Irie if I'm not around, he won't tell your parents or anything." She walked towards me and placed my hands on her breasts. "Now, show me what you've got."

I honestly didn't know where to begin. I squeezed, occasionally flicking a finger over one of her nipples. She seemed to enjoy light, quick touches more than continuous contact. I lowered my head to her chest and made the same motions over her nipples with my tongue. She seemed to enjoy that, occasionally flinching or gasping. "Good," she said after a while, grabbing my hair from behind and pulling my head away. "She might whimper when you do that, but it's a good sign."

"You won't whimper?"

She fixed me with a sardonic smile. "Do I look like the type?" She had a point. She gently pushed me back onto the desk and unzipped my pants. "I doubt she'll be this forward, so you'll probably have to do most of the undressing yourself. Whatever you do, don't take your eyes off her."

"What if she says not to look?"

"Do you care?"

"No."

"Exactly. If she tells you not to look, make sure you don't just look, study. Examine. _Judge_. What she wants is approval."

"And should I give it?"

"What do you think?"

I thought. I thought if what it would be like to tell Mion exactly how beautiful I thought she was. It was…frankly, unappealing. Then I thought of telling Mion that she should be grateful for my spending effort on her. That's when I noticed how aroused I was. I took that to be a good sign. "I should save my approval for when she's already given me what I want."

Takano smiled and slid her panties down her slender, tanned legs. "Good, you're learning." She walked up to me and got into position over me.

"Wait," I said before she could put me in her. "What about-"

"Next time," she said and winked. "Or the time after that. We've got time, Keichi, you can practice as much as you want. For now, just focus on learning." Then she reached down and guided me into her soft opening. I wasn't prepared for that initial plunge, I know, but I held on. Technically, that was all I could do: Takano was in control, as she had been from the beginning. Over and over again she lifted herself and let herself fall back onto me. I honestly can't tell how much she enjoyed it, I was focusing like she had told me to. I know I probably wasn't much compared with Irie or Tomitake or any of the others she'd undoubtedly had, but I was confident that I'd be memorable at least. It certainly was for me. To this day, I can feel the ridges of her inner pussy on my flesh, hear the half-sickening, half-delightful sounds that our repeated union made, and see Takano's flushed face and her loose blond hair falling around it as she moved.

I reached up and grabbed her breasts as she bounced. Again, I can't tell exactly what she felt because I wasn't paying complete attention, but I managed to remember what I had learned earlier, and pinched her nipples as hard as I could. I think I remember her screaming, although that was probably my imagination.

I don't know how long I lasted that first time, but it was assuredly short. It was a very satisfying feeling, ejaculating into Takano like I did. She didn't stop moving while I did it, I'm not even sure that she felt it. She only slowed when she felt my erection lessening, and she didn't waste time getting off of me and getting her bra back on. I was in a state nearing delirium, and stupidly began to ask, "Did you-"

But Takano interrupted with "Don't be pathetic, Keichi." She took a tissue from the desk beside me, put it on the floor, and squatted over it. I got up to look at what she was doing, and saw her parting her flesh and letting my semen drip onto the paper. She didn't look up at me, but she must have sensed my confusion and slight anger. "When you're my equal, then I'll be happy to carry your cum inside me. Until then, it comes out like all the others I've had."

"You've never found someone like you?" I asked, my anger gone, replaced by something not unlike compassion. We were more similar than I had at first guessed.

"Never. But don't worry, Keichi. You'll learn quickly, I think. With time and practice, you'll be better than me." She looked at me and smiled warmly, a tear moistening her eyes. "That's the most I could ask for in a son."

If only Takano had been my mother! But the arrangement fate had set up worked just as well. We had many practice sessions after that, and I learned a lot from Takano, more than I had ever dreamed. And like a good student, I learned much and worked diligently to prove myself. Generally, at the end, the result would be the same.

One day, though, many "classes" later, I won. I had Takano bent over a bench at the park. It was near midnight, and the only light source of the half moon above us. I could tell how well I was doing by how loud Takano was being. At first I thought it had been our complete isolation from other people or the wide open space, but it was clear after fifteen minutes or so that she was genuinely enjoying herself.

I had her right where I wanted her. Her back was to me, and she was using her hands to prop herself up on the back of the bench. Keeping up the rhythm I had going, I moved my hands from their place on Takano's lower back upwards until they closed around her throat. She tried to move away and wrench free from my hold, but I grasped tighter until she sputtered. When I loosened my grip, she gasped for breath. Every time she tried to move away or make me change position, I'd just tighten my grip on her neck. After a bit, I could do it without even stopping the thrusting. Occasionally, she would get too weak and I'd feel her going limp, so I would ease up a little, but enough to keep her firmly in my hands. That time was different for both of us. The sensation of ejaculating into her was so…profound. As if all was right with the world. And when I did she cried out and shuddered; this time she could feel the fluids mixing together inside her.

When I finally relaxed my grip, we were both breathing hard. We fought to catch our breath for a minute before straightening up. Takano was still flush with sweat all over her body, but she got dressed as quickly as ever. When she noticed me staring pointedly at her, she smiled. "I'll keep it in from now on." Then the smile changed from completely happy to predatory. "But don't think you can catch me off-guard like that again."

I returned the look. "I won't. I love you, Miyo."

"And I love you, Keichi. Now get dressed and get home. You have school tomorrow."

As I turned to leave after dressing, Takano told me what would change my life forever. "If you ever get the chance, stop in at the Angel Mart in Okinawa."

"Why?"

"Some girls there are just your type. It'll be different from the times with me. You have to remember that not everyone is your equal."

Not everyone is my equal. Words to live by. That's why I love Takano, and why I'm walking hand in hand with her now. I don't love her like I love Mion and Shion, of course. I love her like she was my real mother, the one I should have had.

Of course, one day I'm sure she'll try to kill me. Which is why I don't spend time with her as much anymore. If we don't interfere with one another, we have no reason to try and kill one another. But we can both appreciate the brief walk to Okinawa and back, and the ineffable feeling of holding hands with someone who understands you completely.

* * *

Sorry about the wait between updates. I'm in college now, so things might be a bit slow from now on. Still, I have to say this is my favorite chapter thus far.

* * *


	6. The Supplicant

Pay attention to me when logic why wont You look at me logic and proportion

shes a whore ignore her she fucks anything that moves im Yours Keichi no matter what use your logic find the proportion even when im dead im Yours when logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead

Pay Attention To Me

its time for games the whore says well play cards we agree and Keichi sits next to me usually i want Him across from me so i can see Him and He can see me but i guess this time its okay we play the game and we play it well, we play ten rounds of old maid and by the end we each win two rounds and lost two rounds so its a perfect tie and the last match decides

do i want to win or do i want to lose lose to Keichi but no one else but if He loses and i win i get Him to do anything i want but if i lose and he wins what will he do to me

i want him to spend more time with me thats all i want Him to know i dont care about logic i dont care about proportion i just want Him to love me the way i love Him i want Him to know i dont care even if He hurt me the scars would be beautiful artwork given to me by my Love He could write His name on every inch of me and i wouldnt mind maybe if He loses thats what ill have Him do

"Okay, so who's ready for the club activities?" Mion said, shuffling our usual deck of cards and wearing a sly grin. I gave her a thumbs-up and we all sat around the table. Rika and Mion sat at my sides. Aside from the obvious bonus of having Mion near me, I might be able to peek at Rika's hand, since she doesn't hide her cards too well.

And what will I do if I win? Ah, well, that all depends on me winning, doesn't it? And, naturally, who loses. As it happens, a tiebreaking game is necessary. Whoever wins and loses this last one is all set. Still not sure what I want to do to Mion, should she slip up and lose. Maybe I'll just force her to invite me to dinner at her place. But then, that tight swimsuit is always a great option. Oh what to do what to do.

Rena says something, which reminds me of what she had said a few nights ago, when she was at my house. It's ridiculous, of course, why would I kiss her? But then, why would she think that I had? It's not as though she's unattractive, but I it's not like I met her before Mion I've loved her ever since I laid eyes on her so why did Rena lie? Does she love me? Oh I'm sorry to disappoint her but I'm just very particular. Besides I can tell Mion and Shion about things Rena wouldn't know anything about. Oh the game. Oh my.

I win

I win and He loses

and now He belongs to Me just for a bit what should I do what should He do logic is going to die Im going to kill it and Keichi will be Mine because logic said He cant be but dont worry Keichi I took care of it and You helped remember We killed logic Youre my thginK etihW Ill be Your Red Queen I win and Keichi loses

I guess so He says and He smiles at Me and I know I can do anything now I could rule the world I could swim around the country I could kill someone just because He smiled at Me and says What should I do Rena and the way My name sounds coming off His lips the way His lips move the way His tongue moves I could admire it for hours but He wants an answer You have to help Me with a drawing at my house

i didnt know you drew things Rena says the loud little one and I smiled and say Yes I love to draw but I dont like showing people but I need help now and Keichi has to help me she says i wonder why only Keichi can help and I say because Im drawing a surprise that only Keichi can know about

whats the surprise Rena my love asks and I just smile and say Youll see

We all walk home Me Keichi shion did you think I didnt know shion I know its her but shes pretending to be mion dont know why she does not logical logic logic is dead makes sense now look the same look the same dont act the same mion is fun but shes a whore and wants to steal my Keichi shion knows Keichi belongs to me but they both want Him I know they do but only I can have Him even if He fucked them I wouldnt care now because His heart will be Mine and once I have His heart Ill have his body and then We could let mion and shion watch and it wouldnt matter because Hed look only at Me and Id look only at Him because I love Him but if they touched Him Id hurt them theyre friends I wouldnt kill them I think but theyd have to know who was Keichis lover

shion tells us not to stay up too late shes acting like mion its pathetic like she could fool anyone and then its just Us walking over towards Our houses but Were going to My house My dads not home Keichi thats good news Rena why I ask just to lead Him on because then We can do things We wouldnt be able to do with him around and He finds My hand at His side and grasps it and all I can think of is how wonderful it feels to be walking home with Him almost like we were married over a card game maybe I can get Him to agree to that next time because after this I know Hell want to come over every day to be with Me and I wont wait for Him in the mornings because Hell wake up with me though We might be late since We might stay up pretty late into the night

so what sort of drawing is it He asks and I tell him I actually havent started it yet I cant do it without you is it a drawing of Me He asks no not of You You need to draw it and Hes confused and I laugh and say dont worry Youll see and I open My door and Were in My house and I turn on some lights and call out Dad just to be sure and theres no reply and I saw follow Me and I lead Keichi to My room

My room is dark because the sun has almost set and the only window faces away from the sun so theres no light so I turn the lights on and turn to Him and say to sit on the bed and close His eyes Rena whats this all about He asks it almost seems like Well be doing something naughty and I laugh and He laughs and He sits on my bed and closes His eyes like I asked and I make sure His eyes are closed and I take off my clothes all of them even my socks and then I sit on His lap and say keep Your eyes closed and He isnt even startled He must have known what I would do Hes so smart and He runs His hands up my side and says I like this punishment so far and I said touch me Keichi and he does He touches me almost everywhere and after a few minutes I tell Him to stop and open His eyes I stand up and face Him and I can see He wants me but first I need Him to do this I want You to draw on Me

so He asks what He can use and I say anything and He says wait and I wait and He leaves and He comes back and I see that He has Keichi do You really mean yes Rena a marker or paint will wash away but this wont and I see Hes right and I say Youre right Keichi I want to remember this forever and He says turn around so I can start on Your back

I turn around and I can feel the knife on My bare skin and its cold and it hurts but I tell Myself that it doesnt hurt because Keichis giving Me something that will never go away and then it doesnt hurt anymore and I feel wonderful and I say what are You giving Me Keichi and He says Im making You a beautiful picture all over Your body even though no picture could be as perfect as You and I smile so widely at him because I love to hear Him say things like that

when I lower My head to the floor I can already see where My blood is dripping down and making a little pool and I say can You put something on the cuts and He apologizes and goes to get something and He puts it on the cuts and it burns and I cry out and He asks Me if Im okay and I say yes and He says dont worry theyre not deep and I know it hurts but Youll be fine and when its done Youll have Your picture and I relax and I let the knife pass through My skin and I concentrate on the feeling of Keichis fingers and hands on My back His hands are so warm and I feel like Im in paradise if I died here that would be fine if I died now that would be perfect if I died if I died if

when I wake up Im alone

the lights are off and Im lying on my bed on my back theres a towel between me and the sheets as I get up I see its stained deep red Im still naked wheres Keichi where did He go I see a note by my pillow I grab it and read it and I tremble and it says He had to go home because His parents called and He knew Id be okay so He was so sorry to go but He wants to do it again soon and He signs it and Im so sad that Hes gone but as long as He wants to do more with Me Im happy I stand up and walk the bathroom Im a little bit dizzy but after I steady myself against a wall Im okay and I go to the bathroom and I pick up a mirror and I use that mirror and then one on the wall to see whats on my back its a picture of a person writing something down in a book and the writing in the book says

I have such wonderful friends, but more importantly, the girl who I thought was my friend is more than that. She is the one girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. She is perfect in every way. Her smile is like a sunrise, and her voice is the opposite of the mourning higurashi. I want to be with you forever, my darling

my darling

my darling who

i realize no matter what i do to myself the name is written on the small of my back and i cant see it cant see it cant see it its my name right my name right Keichi You wrote my name didnt You didnt You You wouldnt didnt You realize i wouldnt be able to see it maybe He just didnt realize and it was a mistake or maybe Hes going to write more next time thats it right Keichi i love You Keichi You wouldnt hurt me would You would You

What an enjoyable day! And here I thought I was going to be bored with Rena! It's been a long time, such a long time since I did that. I had no idea she was so broken inside. Maybe I'm missing the forest for the trees here. Why not conquer Rena as well as Mion and Shion? Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, getting overconfident.

I'm still trembling with joy. I'd never done that before. Not with a knife. Not with a knife. And not with someone who suggested it. Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Memories. Why did I do it? I remember. And a wide grin takes over my face. Before I met them I was still me. I always have been.


	7. The Tower

Akane is ten years old. She is walking down the street towards her apartment building, away from her friend's slumber party. She left her backpack at her friend Naoko's place, hoping that whatever her mom needed to talk to her about would only take a few minutes and let her get back to the party. This is the first time that Akane has been invited to a party, because she's rather shy at school.

There is no one else around to see the taller, older boy (appear? sidestep? slither?) behind her, wrap one hand around her mouth and the other around her waist before dragging her back into the shadows of the alley from which he came. The whole execution of the maneuver is good, but the plan is poorly thought-out. From his vantage point in the alley, the boy had no idea whether or not he could be seen from behind once he'd revealed himself. He hadn't known who the girl was or whether or not anyone knew her whereabouts. But this is only his first time, and he is sure to improve.

He takes her into the alley, always ensuring that she faces away from him. She is struggling, but he is stronger than his thin frame suggests. He keeps his hand tightly on her mouth and whispers "If you scream, I will kill you." He has no real intention of doing this, and hasn't even brought a weapon with him. His theory is that a person sufficiently frightened will not think rationally about the plausibility of his statement. In this first experiment, his theory holds, and the girl becomes still. "When I let go of your mouth, you're going to bend over and lift up your shirt. I won't hurt you if you don't make any sudden movements."

He quickly releases her mouth, then covers it again, just in case Akane was going to ignore his sound advice and scream for help. She shows no signs of doing so, so he releases her again slowly. Trembling with terror, she bends over and begins to remove her shirt. "You don't have to take it off," the boy says, "just lift it." His eyes scanning the girl's body for any signs of imminent escape, he takes a marker from his pocket and uncaps it. He lowers it to the girl's skin and notices her flinch. He says nothing and begins his work.

As he draws, he hears the girl crying. He considers it carefully as his hands move briskly over his canvas. The sound of the girl's sobs says so much to him. It tells him about anger, a great and terrible anger not necessarily at him, but at the world for containing him. It tells him the source of the anger, the fear that drives every aspect of the girl's being right now. It tells him that every human being, every creature, every thing that lives everywhere must die alone. And it tells him that at this moment right now, this is a frightened little girl, a doomed soldier, a condemned prisoner, and everyone that fears all across the universe. He realizes that the crying is an incredible delicacy. He savors it as he works.

He takes only about fifteen minutes on the girl. It's a simple piece, really, just idle musings for him. After he finishes, he puts away the marker and pulls the girl's shirt down. He grabs her again in the same manner as he had the first time and directs her back towards the entrance of the alley. Before letting her go, he whispers to her. "I didn't hurt you. But if try to look at me, I will know, and I will rape you before I kill you. Now go," and he shoves her into the street, and runs as fast as he can back into the darkness of the alley, following a carefully planned route into the heart of Tokyo, a path that takes him hours to return home in order to avoid anyone tailing him, which doesn't seem to be an issue.

A month or so later, he decides to do it again. This time he is much more cautious. He stalks a girl, one about his age, for about a week, learning what he can about her. She is Saya Tanaka. This time, instead of grabbing her and hoping she cooperates, he wraps a rag soaked with a noxious chemical around her mouth and nose, and she goes limp easily. Instead of appearing from an alley, he passes her and turns around after she passes, allowing him to ensure there are no witnesses. He drags her into an alley and grants her his latest work, consuming half of her body. As he finishes, he realizes that he is not satisfied at all. He realizes that without the fear, the whole exercise is without meaning. The point isn't the drawings, not really, the point is fear.

He leaves her there, disappointed in himself but a bit wiser for his mistake. The next time he brings a gun. Not a real gun, of course, but it looks real enough. He doesn't know his target this time, she's just someone walking out late at night. He walks towards her, growing more tense and more gleeful with each step closer. When she is close enough, she looks into his eyes and in that moment she sees something that she cannot and never will be able to describe. The gun he pulls out barely registers in her mind, there is nothing that fills her world more than his eyes, those eyes that rip apart the boundaries separating people and fill the void with terror. She runs and he chases her. He is clearly faster, being older and stronger, and the experience is like being caught in a nightmare.

But he likes to think that he has given his victim something, that they have become friends. He hopes that she understands the oneness with all fearful beings that she is experiencing. He hopes that she will use what she has learned to live her life in a more proper and enjoyable manner, and he knows she will bear him no grudges. He is having the time of his life, for he is instilling the fear of blood in another. He will not be recognized, he has disguised himself well. He has many faces to use. One is an actor, one is a clown, one is a face soaked in blood. He likes that one best. Seeing blood reminds them. The fear of blood tends to create fear for the flesh.

"What is this, Keichi?"

But then it all came crashing down.

"What is this Keichi?"

It had worked for a few months, but now it was breaking.

"What is what?"

"I found this in your room."

And there is a face.

"And these."

And there are the other faces.

"And this."

And there is the gun.

"Ah."

"That's all you have to say?"

"I didn't say anything."

"It's you, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

And now they hurt him.

"It _is _you. You're the one that's been...oh god..._oh god_..."

He sighs and they hurt him again.

"_You sick monster what the hell is wrong with you why would you do something like this_?"

They keep hurting him and he remembers that he never hurt any of them.

"I didn't do anything wrong."

"_You demented pervert how could you we didn't raise you to be this way_"

They hurt him over and over and over as though they could ever understand him.

"I am an artist."

"I made them see."

"I made them fear."

"_You're a twisted little freak what the hell is wrong with you why would do this"_

They stand over him and sob and shout and scream while he remains calm and shows them one of his masks.

"I didn't hurt anyone. Why are you calling me a monster when all I've done is enlighten people?"

"_Normal people don't do this you're a fucking psychopath you're insane you're evil_"

And then he stands up and they recoil and they see, just for a moment. He stands and even though he speaks softly his voice carries with it the resonance of a terrible god. "_**I SHOWED THEM THE TRUTH. I DID IT TO EDUCATE THEM. I DID IT BECAUSE I ENJOY IT. I DID IT FOR **_

"The sound and the fury," I muttered as I reached my front door. That's what I said then, not that my parents understood what I meant. No one can, except for Miyo, of course. No one can understand the sound and the fury except those who have experienced it.

If it could be said that I worship anything greater than myself and Mion and Shion, it is the sound and the fury. It is the revelation that life is fragile and can be destroyed easily. It is the knowledge that any dream can be realized. It is the certainty that every living thing dies alone. That kind of worship might destroy a weak person, but to a true _bon vivant_ like me, it is the most beautiful concept in the world. It's what gives me the strength to keep going, even when everyone around me is devoted to keeping their eyes sewn shut.

I thought I might tell them that I love them the next time I see them. Of course, the mood has to be right. I'm a firm believer in having the right atmosphere for important moments. I wanted Shion and Mion to feel as loved and cared for as possible, because I want them to know exactly how I feel and how much I want them to understand me. And if there's one way to kick off a great relationship, it's by finding common interests.


	8. The Storm

And then I woke up.

I woke from my dream and for a second I was scared.

That part of me was terrible. I was sorry about what I did. Wasn't I?

I spent part of the day weeping and crying. Didn't I?

I went to the hospital willingly and got better.

Didn't I?

Didn't I even ask to see the girls I'd attacked, so I could apologize? They wouldn't let me, I know, but hadn't I asked?

Wasn't I thrilled to go to Hinamizawa where I could be a new Keiichi Maebara? Don't I love my friends with all my heart? I wouldn't do anything to hurt them, ever. Right?

That old Keiichi the one who could only love the sound and the fury

_the sound and the fury_

he's gone. I sent him back to wherever he came from, and now there's just me. The Keiichi who respects his parents, who plays games, and loves his friends.

I really love them all, but I think I've fallen in love with Rena. I remember kissing her a few days ago, and she seemed so happy. I remember that, don't I?

We were looking for treasure at the dump. Well, she thought of it as looking for treasure, I mainly just wanted a reason to be close to her for a while. When I first started accompanying her I chalked it up to being bored after school or being entertained by her weirdness, but after a while I figured out that there were other things to do and I saw enough weirdness during the day. It was special because it was the time we spent together.

"If you see anything cute, you just yell for me, Keiichi, and we'll get it together!" she chirped, full of energy as always. I nodded and started looking for things. Of course, I've never been able to pin down exactly what Rena finds cute, so I spent most of my time just watching her, seeing how her hair shimmered in the light of the setting sun and listening to her hum a nonsense tune to herself as she maneuvered deftly across the garbage heap. I remember thinking then, _She's everything I'd want in a gi-_

_Friend, everything I'd want in a friend._

_Oh, hell. Fine. A girlfriend. Everything I want in a girlfriend. Are you happy, unconscious?_

I wondered to myself if I could date Rena at all. Would it change our relationship with the others? How? The only way I could see it happening was that Rena and I would spend more time alone together, but that wouldn't be too different, would it? It's not like we don't spend time together now.

And does she even like me that way? Didn't I stop to think of that? Didn't I try to decide what to do, now that I'd realized that I wanted to date Rena?

She called my name and snapped me out of my reverie. When I came over to her, I saw she was holding a cassette player. "Isn't it great?" she asked, practically glowing with excitement. "It still works, too! And the tape is foreign!" She went on about the thing's great features, and how cute the foreign language sounded.

I was listening, wasn't I? I listened, but at the same time I was thinking to myself, _What can I do to show her?_ I tried to think of something clever to say, but all I could think of was sappy stuff. Would Rena like that?

Didn't that happen? I would never want to hurt Rena. I knew that I had to tell her then, but I knew that I'd have to be honest. I want to know everything about her, and that means her knowing everything about me. It means telling her about

_**the sound and the fury**_

not right away, of course, but if I want to love her, then we have to know one another.

"Are you okay, Keiichi?" she asked, her voice full of concern, the trinket forgotten momentarily.

I smiled. It's hard not to smile when she's around. "I've just got a lot on my mind, that's all."

She moved closer to me and her eyes shone with gentleness. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"

I had to look away, or else I would have embraced her wordlessly. "Rena, it's about...the two of us."

"What about us?" she asked hesitantly. I thought I could see the hint of a smile on her face. I took that as a good sign. Did I imagine that? I couldn't have.

"I just...well, I was wondering if you ever thought about being more than friends. You know?"

She looked downwards and blushed as bright red as can be. She clutched onto the tape deck tightly, and I could see her knuckles turn white with the strain. "Sometimes," I heard her say softly. "A lot," she corrected a second later, and this time in a more confident tone.

I didn't know what to say. All that came to my mouth was "Rena" and she looked up at me. I put my hands on her shoulders, leaned forward, and kissed her lips softly. At first, I couldn't discern much of a reaction. Our eyes were open, but all I could see registered in hers was surprise. Vaguely I became aware of the fact that she'd dropped the tape deck, which had for whatever reason started to play when it hit the ground. I recognized the foreign song from hearing it a few times on the radio.

_When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy, dead_

_And the white knight is talking backwards and the Red Queen's_

_"Off with her head"_

The music droned on until the tape stopped, the sounds mixing with the calming cries of the cicadas in the distant trees. The kiss lasted for (a couple of seconds? a few minutes? an hour?) before I drew back, ready to apologize. I hadn't really meant to do it, I just panicked. "Rena," I said again, but she pressed herself against me before I could do more than that.

"Keiichi," she said, her voice partially muffled against my chest. "I want to try." I felt the gentle pressure of her hands on my back.

And all I could think of as I wrapped my arms around her was "So do I."

We decided to go home after staying like that for a bit. On the surface, it wasn't much different from any other time. We held hands this time, though, and most of my mind was focused on how right it felt to be holding her hand. But in the back of my head it was there, raking its claws across my happiness, blasting forth

_**THE SOUND AND THE FURY**_

and so I let go of her hand. "Rena, there's something I have to tell you."

She stopped walking, so I did the same. She looked sad, but there was something else in her expression that I couldn't place. "What is it?"

I tried to find the words, but they were slow in coming. Normally I'm pretty glib, but today was just so confusing. "I haven't always been...this Keiichi Maebara you know." I expected some kind of confusion, but Rena's just nodded for me to continue. "I mean, I...I've done some bad things. Before I came her and met you."

I don't know what I expected to happen. Did I want her to ask more? Would I have told her if she did? What confused was the look on her face. I think maybe I expected the look I remembered from my parents' faces, the looks of disgust and horror

_envy_

but all I saw Rena show was understanding. "Don't worry," she said. "Who you were then doesn't matter to me."

"But you should know," I replied, looking away from her in shame. "You should know because we shouldn't have secrets."

And she reached out to my face and turned it towards her. She smiled warmly and said, "We all have secrets. When you feel ready, you tell me. I'll do the same. Whatever it is, the past can't change who we are now, right?"

And then I remember inviting Mion and Rena over for dinner two nights ago. I remember us telling Mion that we were together now, and I remember how happy she looked, and how unhappy at the same time. She looked confused, but I couldn't imagine why. Maybe she thought I liked her? My memory fades there, but we had a nice dinner

_Rena got angry_

No...no she didn't. Why would she be angry?

_I made her angry_

That's not true, its not true its not. I remember we watched some TV after dinner and I remember the dim light of the screen and I remember putting my hand over

_Shion's_

Rena's hand and her turning to me

_in fear_

and smiling so sweetly

Thats what I remember it is

And then they went home

_game_

And then I waved to them as they left

_hide and seek_

I remember seeing the leave the house

_camera_

I can see in my minds eye its nighttime and its late and there goes Rena out my door and shes alone oh god shes alone and Mions still with me that game couldnt have happened Im not like that Im not please please tell me that didnt happen

Rena wouldnt have let me into her house the next day if that had happened, right? She wouldn't have invited me over for the punishment game if I had made her angry the previous night, would she? After we told Rika and Satoko about our relationship, and Rika told me not to do anything indecent to Rena at her house and Satoko and Mion blushed, but not as darkly as Rena had and we all had fun that day, right?

On our way to Rena's house, didn't we even joke about that ourselves, in that way that people joke when they're being serious? And I was surprised that she didn't seem embarrassed, wasn't I?

And I asked her about the drawing that she had stated as the reason she needed me to help her, halfway expecting that there was no drawing, but she said there was and she needed me to help her and I asked her how I could help and she said I had to draw something and she said Youll see and she opened the door to her house and then and then

I cant remember why cant I remember what happened I said I was sorry Im sorry Im sorry and Im a good person now and I love Rena I do I love

_the_

R

_sound_

e

_and_

n

_the_

a

_**fury**_

And then I woke up.

And I shook my head and my thoughts went scattering about like a snowglobe, and then they fell to their allotted places in my mind and I felt like myself again. The sun shone irritatingly through my window and I squinted into the light. Another day, another level of my favorite game. I wonder if I'll ever grow tired of hunting, even if I get Mion and Shion. I doubt it. This is what I live for. This is what I was made for. Like the wolf among sheep, I move throughout the world and cultivate my pleasure where I like. And it just so happens that I'm here right now. But I'll never see Mion and Shion's equal, and that makes it all the more important that I conquer her. It's about self-realization, really: the key to mastering others is to master yourself.

* * *

Notes: And you thought Rena was the unreliable narrator, eh? Sorry this chapter has been a long time coming, I've had a lot going on. New semester and all. And I've been working on translating _Higurashi_ in its many forms. It's actually easier for me to translate stuff into Japanese rather than from Japanese. The other day I did the "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow" soliloquy from _Macbeth_. That was way easier than any given chapter of _Higurashi_. Incidentally, I've become aware that the proper spelling should be "Keiichi." The "kei" part is "ke" with the "i" signifying an extended "e" sound, and then "ichi." Eventually I'll go back and change the rest of the story, which uses "Keichi."


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